Rabu, 21 September 2011
17th of December 2004
Ketika titis lagi emosi i imagine you SO BAD, ketika kadar iman titis tinggi i imagine you NOTHING AND NO BODY, ketika titis lagi gila i imagine younYOU ARE MY EVERYTHING. tetapi bagaimanapun kau bukan siapa-siapa hanya seorang hamba Tuhan dan milik Tuhan. Begitu juga titis, titis kangen.., titis kadang tersiksa dengan rasa ini tapi juga kadang titis bisa menikmati rasa ini.Astaghfirullah ...titis hanya bisa selalu berusaha beristiqomah di jalanmu ya Allah, berusaha untuk selalu mencintaimu lebih dari segalanya, berusaha menjadi lebih baik..,berdoa untuk semuanya...SABAR YAA TITIS SAYANG ...tetap berusaha berdoa sama Allah. LOVING YOU ...Mmmmuach ......18th of December 2004
Morning day..., today is saturday, its a nice day because i have'nt lesson, today and tomorrow are really weekend, mmm ...i wanna story about someone, i know it's pool, stupid idea, such as crazy peple do, but it's okay, the important thing is i'm enjoy of it. i can minimalize my problem, make happy, n gladden my sorrow, etc. he came into my life offered me a lot of things to share, took me to the greatest place that i've never been there, he has touched a lot of space, every single words from he seemed nice, but i never knew that he is just like another guy, some times i wondered why, why he culd be so unkind, but then i realized the funniest thing was me who believed everything that he said, don't look at me like you really love me, don't say you love me if you don't wan't me, don't say you're sorry cause it's not gonna change everything, that you've be done and you think it was fun, don't come to me if you plan to leave me. don;t hold me so tight if you to try to harm me, don't think it's easy to be the one, that you love and forget, and things are not quite interesting.
21th of December 2004
Really I'm annoyed of her attitude
SUCK !!!!!
25 th of December 2004
I love you mom, titis sayang mamah, relly i don't mean to hurt you mom, appologize me mom. i have many mistakes, i am so regret, mom...i will always stand by you, you are my everything. sun sayang dan kangen dari jauh...i love you so much mom ..i miss you ...
Kuningan, Yogyakarta ..
Everydays i'm always confused, since i just knew man or love ( may be ), it's so resentful, i don't know well what caused my self to be confuse ???, i always try to think posotive things that may be i have not bring my self closer to Allah. lazzy may hampered me to raise everything i want and my aim for my life.
15th of dec 2004
i'm longing with my mom tonight ..,she just arrive from Palembang to Yogyakarta, i know well ...she's so tired now as my habit, i usually message her untul she sleep..., My Allah ..ALLAHUMMAGHFIRLII WALIWAALIDAYYA WARHAMHUMAA KAMAA ROBBAYAANII SHOGHIIROO ..,forgive us and forgive my parent's sins and their mistakes, love them so much and take care them so much ya Allah ..., Show us to the stright way to your way .., Ihdinashyorotul mustaqiim.., Amiin yaa rabbal alamiin ...
15th of December 2004
Hidupku yang sedang koe jalani adalah memilih ..Aku memilih dan terus memilih ...
Aku yakin aku akan terus dihadapkan pada pilihan
dan sampai matipun akan demikian
Kadang pilihan itu datang dan aku tak mampu memilih ..
kadang juga aku setiap pilihan itu datang
aku selalu memilih yang akan membuatku jadi baik ..
bukan yang terbaik ...
karena mungkin yang terbaik tidak akan membuatku jadi lebih baik
Siapapun tak akan bisa melihat apa yang akan terjadi dengan hidupku
kelak...karena hidupku adalah memilih ...
pilihanku ...mungkin akan membuatku jadi menderita
tapi aku yakin pada hati yang memilih ...
aku akan menjadi baik dan aku tidak akan menyesal karena telah memilih ...
Mungkin saja orang lain tak menyukai karena aku mengambil keputusan yang mereka anggap salah ...
kamu keliru ..kamu salah ..kamu bodoh ...
padahal ada yang lebih baik dari itu ..
mengapa harus memilih itu ...
itu tak akan berguna bagimu ...
dasar titis bodoh ...
katakanlah apa yang kau inginkan
aku tak akan mencabut pilihanku ...dan aku tak akan pernah menyesal ..
aku yakin dan percaya, Tuhan tahu dan mengerti apa yang kubutuhkan ...
Tuhan tahu apa yang terbaik bagiku ...
Tuhan akan memberikan padaku yang terindah ...
karena aku percaya padanya ...
Yang kulakukan hanya menerima dan menjalani ..
ambil keputusan dengan apa yang diinginkan oleh Tuhan ..
maka semuanya akan mungkin ..
Hamba moe ...
( koetifan : dari temen Gadjah Mada Campus FIB )
Selasa, 20 September 2011
13th of december 2004
Assalamualaikum wr.wb ..., ya Allah...this the first i write about my scret story..all of about my CONSCIENCE...let me to tell everything about me, human, and my surroundings and manything...MY ALLAH... I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ..Tonight is so quite and i'm feeling so alone...,there many feels so longing, but i don't know with whom ..
New Page ....
I don't know why, i can't stop my crying, i could not check my tears. Am i so sad or ...???, no i'm not, do you lost something??? NO I DON'T, it's i just remember with i had done yesterday. Actually, many bad notes was hanged om my life. more less than kindness.
it's remind me with a bithaqoh's story. when some body come to face with Allah S.W.T in revenge day. Di bentangkan dihadapannya 99 lembaran catatan. Bukan catatan kebaikan namun keburukan. lebih mengerikannya, satu lembar catatan kejelekan panjangnya sejauh pandangan mata. NAUDZUBILLAH MIN DZALIK, banyak sekali ...!!!, dan dia pun mengakuinya dan tidak mengelak dengan dosa yang telah di lakukannya..lembar terbentang, dosa demi dosa terpampang
نعوذ بالله من ذلك
KEEP TRYING BETTER ...
Senin, 19 September 2011
20th of November 2004
My Diary ...I was already tired n irritable when an friend im'd me and at the beginning of our conversation, it seemed as if it took him forever to respond. That annoyed me. it just got worse from there as all my insecurities and issues came out. I really felt miserable and i took it all out on him. i had difficultly doing so.After he asked me what my problem was for what seemed like the umpteenth time, i responded with a summary of my issues and insecurities followed by " I HATE MY SELF !". And then it dawned on me: i hate my SELF. when i said that again with passion, " I hate my self !". it worked!!! all my irritation, issues, and insecurities evaporated, and i was fine. even my fatigue vanished ! i am very grateful to my friend for pushing me 'til i could see this. He would've been justified in severing all contact with me forever for all the crap i put him thrue long before i had this epiphany. Here's what i realized, whwn suffering is at it's worst. Self Recognition can be at it's best. However, first the self needs to be recognized, and then Self Recognition needs to be practiced with passion, turn all the suffering around and throw it back at the self, whence it came. Relized that all suffering isn't something that's inflicted upon you, but rather something that your self does toe you! Every negative EMOTION, complusive thought, sensitivity to pain, and reaction comes from the self.
05 desember 2013
ibu meninggal
23 desember 2013
melahirkan keyra maisie rahayu
04 jjanuari 2014
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